Martha & Mary: the two faces of hospitality
I recently read a story that brought me to think about today’s gospel in a new way…
A young minister walked slowly to the office, mumbling to himself that he was not “on call” that day, and that it was almost supper time. There in the office sat a young man. His clothes and emanating stench told the minister that here was a street-person who had not bathed lately. He introduced himself only as “Jim.” As Jim began his story, he mentioned that he had no place to stay.
The minister could see it coming. He was going to ask for money. Deep inside himself he was hoping that the housekeeper would interrupt and call him to dinner. The young man continued his sad story. To the minister it dragged slowly on. Then the housekeeper knocked on the office door to tell the minister that he was wanted on the phone. He excused himself and went to answer the phone.
When he returned, the minister found that Jim had left. The minister sensed that his manner had revealed his preoccupation with other things. So he looked outside, up and down the street, but could not see his departed visitor. Feeling the growing twinges of remorse, he got into his car and drove through the neighborhood.
Finally, he spotted Jim and pulled his car up to the curb. When he called out to Jim, there was no answer. The poor fellow just kept on walking. So the minister parked the car, ran up the sidewalk, and stood in front of the young man. “Jim, I’m sorry that I had to leave. Would you come back with me and finish our conversation?”
The young man simply shrugged and said in a low whisper, “You’re just like everybody else. No one wants to listen.” With that Jim walked around the minister and disappeared into the night.
This is a story I can identify with. Throughout the years of my priesthood, there have always been people like Jim, obviously in need but hard to deal with. Often, I have wanted to help, but also wondered if I was being ripped off.
But beyond that, I learned early on that there were many people who lived alone, were lonely, and had no one to talk to. Often, they had family members, but they either lived at a great distance away or chose not to visit. When I did Communion calls, particularly in Springfield, I was always late for lunch because those I was visiting simply needed someone to talk to.
And then there is today’s gospel passage about Martha and Mary. You can learn many lessons and draw various conclusions from it. Some have said that it’s a story about the need for balance in our lives between doing good for others (like Martha) and taking time to spend in prayer (like Mary). Others have noted that in that society it was the woman’s role to do the cooking and take care of the basic needs of hospitality, while it would normally be men who would sit and talk. They suggest, therefore, that Jesus was elevating the role of women above that of cooking the meal and doing the dishes.
But now I see another dimension. Jesus, as the gospels show us, often had very long days, filled with teaching, healing, feeding multitudes and casting out demons. I get the impression that Martha and Mary were more intimate friends of Jesus, and he could go there to relax, have a nice meal, and let his hair down. And maybe, as a tired and over-worked human being, he needed a place to vent, speak about what went well and what didn’t, complain if some people were being unreasonable, and let off steam about the Pharisees and other religious leaders who kept contradicting him and making trouble wherever he went. We sometimes forget that Jesus was fully human and that he probably needed close friends like everybody else.
And if that was true for Jesus, it’s probably true for us all. I think that’s why Jesus always gathered people into relationship, so that the lonely could have someone to talk to, those who were experiencing injustice could have someone to defend them, those who were hungry or finding it difficult to make ends meet would have someone to help meet their needs, and for street persons and those who are poor to have a place where they could go and be given hope when everybody else failed to listen or let them down.
Our gospel is indeed about hospitality, but I think it leads us to something deeper. People need to be fed and have their basic material needs met. But they also need help with maintaining human connection, seeking reassurance, finding encouragement, and having someone to listen and show that they understand and care. Today’s gospel invites us to be such listeners, and to bring the compassionate heart of Jesus into an often cold and uncaring world.
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